Weathered, Not Weak: Let’s Call It What It Is—Weathering and Why We Need to Talk About It

Because being worn down doesn’t mean we’re worn out.

There are some things in life you don’t understand until you’ve lived them. Like how stress doesn’t just make you tired—it can wear you down.

I’m not talking about the kind of stress that passes after a nap. I’m talking about the kind that shows up in your body. The kind that lingers through every diagnosis, every doctor visit, every time you’re dismissed or told “you’re fine” when you know you’re not.

I’ve lived that. Through heart failure, tricuspid valve disease, hospice, recovery, and now caregiving for my husband while still managing my own health. I’ve felt the kind of tired that no amount of rest can fix. And now I know—it has a name: weathering.

So, What Is Weathering?

Weathering is a public health concept that describes how chronic stress and discrimination wear down the body over time—physically, emotionally, mentally.

The term was coined by Dr. Arline Geronimus in 1991. She introduced it to explain why African American women face higher rates of chronic illness and die younger than white women. Her research showed that the daily stress of racism, inequality, and being unseen leads to premature aging and higher risk for disease.

But it doesn’t just stop there. Weathering happens to:

Women who are constantly dismissed by doctors
Caregivers who carry everyone else’s weight
Patients who’ve fought long battles with illness
People who’ve lived too long in survival mode

What Weathering Feels Like

You might not have heard the word, but you’ve felt the wear.

You wake up tired. You get sick more often. You bruise easier. You look in the mirror and think, I’ve aged 10 years in two.

It’s like patio furniture left out season after season. At first, it holds up. Still useful. Still strong. But over time—after the sun, the rain, the snow, and all those storms—you start to see the cracks. The rust. The wear. Not because of one bad day—but because of all of them, stacked together.

That’s weathering.

What I’ve Learned on This Road

💔 Your body remembers.

It holds on to every scare, every stress, every moment you had to push through instead of pause.

💜 Self-care isn’t a trend. It’s a necessity.

I’ve learned to stop apologizing for rest. For saying no. For choosing peace over performance.

🫂 You need your people.

Not the ones who tell you to “just stay positive.” The ones who sit in the hard with you. Who see your wear and don’t flinch.

🩺 You are more than a chart.

You carry a whole story behind those test results. And you deserve to be heard—all of you.

🌱 Healing doesn’t always look dramatic.

Sometimes healing looks like music, laughter, gardening, or saying “not today” to stress. It’s the little moments that build you back up.

How We Push Back Against Weathering

We can’t stop life from coming at us—but we can protect ourselves differently:

Prioritize rest, not just sleep
Move your body in ways that feel good
Eat with intention, not restriction
Speak up—even when your voice shakes
Surround yourself with people who see all of you
Let joy in, even when it feels far away

Let’s stop sugarcoating it. Let’s call it what it is.We’re weathered—but we’re not weak.

We’ve been through the wringer—some of us are still in it. But when we open up about what we’re really carrying, when we stop pretending we’re fine when we’re not—that’s when the healing starts. That’s when we take some of the power back.

***The strongest voices often come from the most fragile hearts. One story can save a life. Let’s keep telling them.***

💬 Have you felt weathered lately? Are you holding more than people can see? Say it out loud. Drop a comment. Say “me too.” Share your story, or just know this is a space where you don’t have to hide it.

Let’s keep the conversation going. Let’s heal out loud—together.

Follow along at www.maryburrell.com

You're not alone—not here.❤️‍🩹🥑

#HospiceSurvivor #WeatheringIsReal #PatientVoice #WomenAndHeartDisease #SelfAdvocacy #TricuspidValveMiracle #BlackWomenDeserveBetter #ListenToPatients